1. Don’t involve the kids
Just don’t. Divorce is hard enough on children without added pressure or emotional blackmail coming from the parents. Don’t use your kids as pawns, don’t disparage your ex and don’t involve them in any pending litigation. It reflects poorly on you, your judge won’t appreciate it and it will have harmful effects on your children.
2. Don’t make unreasonable demands
You’re probably hurt and upset with your soon-to-be ex right now, but be reasonable in your expectations. Don’t insist on being name sole custodial parent when there is no evidence to show your ex is a bad parent. Don’t insist on being awarded a disproportionate share of the community estate or spousal maintenance just to “get back” at your ex. Unrealistic expectations make the process more litigious, increase legal fees and usually leave unhappy parties.
3. Don’t be adversarial
Divorce is emotional enough without being litigious and cutthroat. The majority of divorces are settled through informal settlement agreements or mediation. While sometimes extensive court battles are the only way to settle a divorce, more often than not it’s through agreement and you need to be open to that process. It’s not about winning in court; it’s about looking at the bigger picture and focusing on closing one chapter of your life as painlessly as possible.
4. Don’t refuse to communicate
This is especially important if you have kids or shared finances that require some level of communication while your divorce is pending. Don’t insist on going through your attorneys to schedule exchanging the kids or making sure your mortgage is timely paid. This only serves to increase legal fees and annoy the other party. If you absolutely cannot speak with your spouse then your attorney can facilitate communications, but try to be open to communicating with your spouse.
5. Don’t spend a lot of money or incur a lot of debts
A divorce forces couples to go from being supported by two incomes to just one income. It can be a very difficult time financially for some couples, don’t increase your burden by incurring additional credit card debt or make big purchases. This is also an issue for community property states where any assets or debts accrued, even while a divorce is pending, are considered part of the community estate and your spouse is entitled to their community share. Make smart financial decisions during the pendency of your divorce.
If you need to schedule a consultation with an experienced Houston Divorce Attorney, please give us a call at (713) 225-6200 or visit us on the web at RamosFamilyLaw.com.